Dealing with
conflict

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Why?

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How many people?

 

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How long?

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We are all human. We have different views, opinions, backgrounds and experiences. 
 

It’s natural that sometimes, conflict
will arise.

 

If this happens within a meeting there are a few techniques you can use to get to the bottom of the real issue.

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Introduction

Non-Violent communication

The practices of non-violent communication are simple, personal and can be used to great effect in many different circumstances, from our own interpersonal relationships, right up to times when we are in individual conversations with those who we feel very comfortable with or whom we feel less comfortable or close in our relationship.  


The tool of non-violent communication was created by psychologist Michael Rosenberg and his book Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life is considered onethe more authoritative textst on the subject of NVC.  There is also a short form explainer you can watch here.

If you would like to practice Non-Violent Communication (NVC) you can read Michael Rrosenberg’s book and you can also check the 
website here.

It is important to mention that NVC requires training to deliver and should be practiced before being used in a higher stakes scenario.

Paradoxically, if NVC is used unskillfully, it can sometimes have an accidentally inflammatory effect and cause serious upset or emotional outbursts.  Therefore take care with practicing, ensure you have sufficient experience before hosting on your own, and regardless, use your best judgement to step in when the time feels like there is clear need for it.

 

Non-violent communication is a practice which can be kept in one’s personal toolkit and produced when you least expect it,  and most need it.  It is part of your toolkit, so take the time to watch the above vid, and practice in a place which feels real for you before stepping in to host one yourself.  In normal practice it is more of a personal pursuit which builds in us the conditions whereby we can be more peaceful and compassionate to others at any time.

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Deep democracy: A more direct and active tool for navigating conflicts with the assistance of a facilitator. 

The concept of Deep Democracy was developed by Arnold Mindell. It is defined as an attitude and a principle.
 

Attitude: Deep Democracy is an attitude that focuses on the awareness of voices that are both central and marginal. This type of awareness can be focused on groups, organizations, one’s own inner experiences, people in conflict, etc. Allowing oneself to take seriously seemingly unimportant events and feelings can often bring unexpected solutions to both group and inner conflicts.

Principle: Unlike “classical” democracy, which focuses on majority rule, Deep Democracy suggests that all voices, states of awareness, and frameworks of reality are important. Deep Democracy also suggests that the information carried within these voices, awarenesses, and frameworks are all needed to understand the complete process of the system. The meaning of this information appears, when the various frameworks and voices are relating to each other. Deep Democracy is a process of relationship, not a state-oriented still picture, or a set of policies.

Discover more resources

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Meeting basics and invitations 

 

How will you hear from a variety of voices?

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Where to start

 

The first step in your journey to creating a meeting that matters.